Self esteem issues are the number one problem of all the people I have seen over the years as a Toronto therapist
Definition: Self-esteem is our estimation of our worth. It is directly related to depression symptoms, anxiety attacks, unhealthy relationships and stress management.
1/ I compare myself unfavourably to others.
2/ I have difficulties with self care, i.e. not enough sleep, poor nutrition, smoking, etc.
3/ I frequently criticize myself.
4/ I am a perfectionist.
5/ I often criticize my appearance.
6/ I feel that others don’t like me.
7/ When I get up in the morning I don’t look forward to the day ahead.
8/ I often wish I was somebody else.
9/ I am easily hurt by others.
10/ I never feel that I am good enough.
If you answered YES to 5 or more of these statements, you may have a problem with self-esteem.
Most Self-Esteem Problems Begin in Childhood
The Childhood Origins of Low Self-Esteem
1/Receiving criticism and harsh judgement.
2/ Emotional neglect
3/ Physical, emotional or sexual abuse
4/ Family breakdown
5/ Addiction issues within the family
6/ Loss of a parent
7/ Failures in achievement, academics, sports
8/ Being bullied
9/ Mental illness within the family
10/ Trauma issues
How I Help People Improve Their Self-Esteem
1/ I help the person to understand how their childhood contributed to their self-esteem difficulties.
2/ Building Self-Awareness/Mindfulness – Self-esteem issues are connected to our feelings about ourselves and others. In order to begin the process of building self-esteem it is necessary to be able to listen to, and understand our feelings.
3/ Developing Resources – I help a person to find resources that can build up their self-esteem level. This can include such things as improving self-care, developing positive relationships and learning new ways of relating to the self.
Self-esteem feelings consist of attitudes and behaviours, originating from childhood, that make up how a person feels about his or her self. In my years of helping people I have seen that people can form new understandings and behaviours that lead them to look at themselves in a much more positive manner.
Poor self esteem harms a person’s life. It affects work, relationships, interests and, in fact, almost all aspects of life. It is a contributing factor in depression issues, addictive behaviours, harmful codependency, anxiety attacks, stress management and even physical disease. However, self esteem can be positively changed.
I can help you understand how your lack of self esteem was learned, often through people and situations that harmed your sense of self. We will reevaluate your history in order to understand exactly how this occurred and gave you a negative sense of who you are. I will also help you to monitor your thoughts and behaviour in order to manage and improve your self esteem feelings. Ultimately our goal will be to help you see yourself as you truly are and your genuine self worth. By doing this you can learn to see yourself with fairness and compassion with the goal of self acceptance and self appreciation.