Emotional Abuse – The Hidden Abuse

I refer to emotional abuse as ‘hidden’ because it is given far less recognition than other forms of abuse, such as physical or sexual. The victim is often blamed. They are “oversensitive” and basically not able to “take it, like other people do”. What is Emotional...

The Hardest Person to Forgive – Yourself

Forgiveness is a subject that has been endlessly discussed. There are pros and cons. Some people insist it is necessary in order ‘to move on’. Others say forgiveness is forced and artificial. Whatever side you’re on it is agreed that we need to let go of past hurts. ...

Can We Reparent Ourselves?

“They should call the Children’s Aid Society on me for abusing my inner child so much”.  Chris said this in a humorous manner. At the same time he was upset at how critical and hurtful he was towards himself. He is not alone. In my years as a Toronto therapist most of...

Why It Is Important to Understand Our Past

  “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  George Santayana Ellen literally stood up and screamed at me, “Don’t try to tell me I’m just some kind of little baby who hasn’t grown up.” In a way she hadn’t grown up. A childhood trauma...

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Control

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”  ― Victor Frankl “I’ve done everything possible to stop his drinking, but I can’t control him.” “Every night I look...

We Are All Emotionally Vulnerable

‘Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common … . The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden’.  C.S. Lewis Bill came into my office wearing dark glasses and looked around furtively before he entered. When he sat down he...