BEWARE of the Narcissist!

In my work as a Toronto therapist I have met many victims of narcissists. They are children, mates, employees, or friends of narcissists. They bear the scars: depression symptoms, anxiety attacks, self-esteem struggles and anger issues, to name a few. What is a...

The Hardest Person to Forgive – Yourself

Forgiveness is a subject that has been endlessly discussed. There are pros and cons. Some people insist it is necessary in order ‘to move on’. Others say forgiveness is forced and artificial. Whatever side you’re on it is agreed that we need to let go of past hurts. ...

Succeeding in Therapy

  ““My therapist has helped me learn to understand that if you don’t unpack your own emotional baggage it’s no longer baggage–it’s deadweight.”  ― Gina Barreca,  This quote says a lot about what a client needs to do in therapy. Basically a...

Can We Reparent Ourselves?

“They should call the Children’s Aid Society on me for abusing my inner child so much”.  Chris said this in a humorous manner. At the same time he was upset at how critical and hurtful he was towards himself. He is not alone. In my years as a Toronto therapist most of...

Why It Is Important to Understand Our Past

  “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  George Santayana Ellen literally stood up and screamed at me, “Don’t try to tell me I’m just some kind of little baby who hasn’t grown up.” In a way she hadn’t grown up. A childhood trauma...

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Control

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”  ― Victor Frankl “I’ve done everything possible to stop his drinking, but I can’t control him.” “Every night I look...

We Are All Emotionally Vulnerable

‘Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common … . The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden’.  C.S. Lewis Bill came into my office wearing dark glasses and looked around furtively before he entered. When he sat down he...

We Heal From The Inside Out

How Our Emptiness is Created As a Toronto therapist I encounter people complaining of feeling empty.   We live in a society that constantly dangles new ‘things’ in front of us: phones, computers, clothes, furniture etc, etc. etc. . We have to have the latest and best....

Mental Fitness

Therapy Is about developing mental fitness rather than focusing on mental illness. Over the years I have become aware that one of the biggest problems I face as a Toronto therapist is the negative attitude of people towards emotional and psychological health. Compare...