Anger Management

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It has been estimated that 1 out of 5 North Americans have some type of anger issue problem. Anger that is not properly controlled can lead to health problems, difficulties with addiction , depression symptoms, unhealthy relationships, anxiety attacks, stress management struggles, and a general inability to function effectively.

Anger is Important, it signals a problem. It is an assertion of our selfhood. The key is learning to manage destructive anger and transforming it into constructive anger.

Do You Have An Anger Management Problem?

Certain signs or symptoms can be an indication that your anger might be a negative factor in your life. Some of these signs are obvious, but others are less so. .

1/ You constantly feel anger at others

2/ You are frequently angry at yourself

3/ You keep rehashing old situations in a resentful manner

4/ You obsess about situations that make you angry

5/ You feel like a victim

6/ You feel cynical and down about life

7/ You have addiction issues

8/ You don’t express your anger

9/ You have depression symptoms

10/ You have anxiety symptoms

My Anger Management Program

In helping people to manage their anger I focus on 2 different stages that assist them in effectively dealing with their anger. These stages are: 1/Confronting anger 2/ Transforming anger

Don’t Control it Confront it – People with Anger Issues constantly try to control their anger. This often makes it worse. 

Confronting Anger

1/ Don’t ignore anger – anger is an important message that you are giving yourself

2/ Asking why am I really angry and who am I really angry at – look deeper. It often comes from childhood

3// Anger protects vulnerable feelings – confront the vulnerable feelings

4/ Try to stop being angry at yourself – self anger prolongs anger

5/ Take responsibility – what is my part. Otherwise you play the victim

6 / Learn to express anger constructively – tone and wording helps

7/ Examine stress issues, anxiety symptoms, depression symptoms that may be fuelling the anger

8/ What is the bigger picture – examine your life, your self, your history – many angry individuals experience frustration about their lives

9/ What do you want in your life that you are not getting

10/ Take real gradual steps to make changes – be persistent, patient and go beneath the surface for the less easy answer

Transforming Anger 

Transforming anger consists of a deep understanding of anger plus learning how to redirect it so that it becomes a force for change in their life. Ways of achieving this are:

• Understanding the origins and roots of the anger – This involves examining a person’s past history and helping them to understand how and why they became so angry. 
• Understanding the message of the anger – Often anger disguises other feelings such as hurt and shame. Learning these hidden feelings defuses anger.
• Creative Transformation – Learning to redirect anger in a creative manner through positive expressions such as social change, the arts, knowledge. 
• Spiritual/Existential – Learning to see the bigger picture of life. Gaining wisdom and real serenity through gaining a deeper feeling and understanding about our existence.

Making Anger An Ally

When a person realizes that, when properly used, anger can help their lives they begin to feel more in control. They start to understand themselves better, communicate better, feel more at peace and use their energy in a way that enhances their lives and the lives of those around them. 

Anger is a difficult emotion. It can help us to identify a threat and defend ourselves. It can also be destructive, particularly within relationships. You can have too much of it or too little of it. Too much can lead to a defended life filled with hatred. Too little creates repression that eats away at us also. Especially difficult can be how to express it in a positive and non hurtful manner.

I can help you recognize your anger in terms of when it is appropriate or not. Often anger protects vulnerable feelings, and we can look at these in order to help you better understand yourself. It is also important for us to examine your history to see how you developed the ways in which you came to deal with anger. Finally, I will help you learn how to express your anger in ways that can be positive to yourself and others.